Google
 

 

 
 

 

 


Is the beauty in the red dress Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick?

  


CHECK OUT THIS CLOWN FACE MYSTERY MEAT...It scares the hell out of Dave.

  

 


Here's a cashew shaped like a penis that's up for bid on Ebay

 

 


Check out the China Vagina collection


Listen as The Morning X talks to Tommy Habeeb, the original host of Cheaters, about his new show Stag


 

We have talked to the guy from Louisiana that mows the lawn in his skirt - here's a picture from a listener of a guy in South Haven that mows his lawn in women's lingerie!

 

 

 


 

Text Message Theater starring Dave, Chuck and Lisa!

 


Check out these ultra low ride jeans

 

 


A Russian woman who had 125 pounds of belly fat removed

 

 


P.O.D. dropped by on Friday morning to perform live!

 

 

 

 

 


Riskay's video for "Smell Yo Dick"

 


These look like the pants Dave's wearing!

 


 

Pictures from a "sexy" calendar that some
moms in Spain made . . . which put them in DEBT

 

 


 

Cross-Dresser Drives 'Geo' into Lingerie Store - Seven Times

(PONTIAC, MICHIGAN) An unemployed cross-dresser drove his car into a lingerie store which refused to hire him. Police arrested 27-year-old Jeremy McIntosh on charges of malicious destruction of property. At the time of his arrest, McIntosh wore blue Capri pants, a flowery blouse, matching bra, red flip flops, and make-up.
A cashier at Intimate Ideas said McIntosh arrived with an application in hand. He expressed a desire to work for the lingerie store. McIntosh claimed he was intimately aware of all the available underwear for women. When his application was rejected, he went berserk. He threatened a clerk, saying he would "ram my Geo Tracker into your building". Not once or twice, but a total of 7 times. Merchandise came crashing off the walls and shelves. He caused $3000 worth of damage to the lingerie store. To no one's surprise, his Geo was totaled.

 


 

Dede Koswara, The 'Tree Man of Java’

 


 

Jay Herrod, from Louisana who's been ticketed for mowing lawns in a skirt

 


 

The NEW McCain girls video

 


 

RED HOT WINGS FOR RED WINGS!

CHECK OUT THE PICTURES!


 

 

MORE SEXY TRAFFIC FROM LISA


 

The WINNER of 89X in 30 Seconds!

Erin Keesling

 CLICK HERE TO SEE THE VIDEO


 

Another Gnome Sighting???

 


Flight of the Conchords - Business Time

 


Obama's new campaign song - I WANT BARACK!

 


Mccain's new campaign song - It's Raining McCain!

 


 

 

Thomas Beatie, a pregnant man who used to be a woman
 

 


 Is this proof of El Chupacabra?

 


Is a killer gnome on the loose in Argentina?


State of the City - What we think Kwame really meant.


Dave and Chuck read a story about a Polish construction worker who vacuumed his underpants and said it was a Polish tradition. Dave and Chuck didn't believe him so they called Poland.


Click here to listen to the Morning X commercial for the new fragrance - Jizz


Here's the 89X Exclusive response from the Mayor


HILLARY CLINTON'S SPANISH CAMPAIGN THEME SONG

 


Click  here for Chuck's Chinese Rap


Check out Chinese Rapper Tai Mai Shu 


 

What is Squashing? Watch this to find out!

 


 

 

CHECK OUT CHRISTINA AGULERIA'S NEW and  IMPROVED KNOCKERS!


 

Here's A Picture of Holly's horrible tanning bed sunburn!

 


Click Here to check out the song that apparently only dogs can hear


We spoke with Dr. Sadie Allison, and she answered many important questions for our 89X listeners. If you want to have a better sex life, be sure to pick up one of her many books. (For ages 18+)

CLICK HERE TO VISIT THE WEBSITE DR. SADIE ALLISON


CHECK OUT THESE GROSS PICTURES OF MARY TOWNSEN, WHO FELL HEAD-FIRST ON TO A KNIFE... AND SURVIVED!!!

*WARNING --- THESE PICTURES ARE EXTREMELY GRAPHIC*

CLICK HERE TO SEE THE PICTURES


CHECK OUT THIS KWAME KILPATRICK "DETROIT REMIX" VIDEO 


CLICK HERE TO DOWNLOAD OUR INTERPRETATION OF THE KWAME KILPATRICK SPEECH FROM WEDNESDAY NIGHT


Here is a hilarious song about Kwame Kilpatrick called "Party At The Mahoogian" that you might get a kick out of.  The song is done by local artist Whitie McWhiteivich.
CLICK HERE TO GO TO WHITEY'S MYSPACE PAGE


Check out the "Leave Kwame Alone" video below


Detroit Mayor Kwame Kilpatrick is in a heap of trouble for his text message scandal with his chief of staff Christine Beatty...Click to listen to the Morning X's recreation of their messages.


Scientists in England are on the verge of inventing an Alzheimer’s Helmet which, through the use of what appears to be complicated fans and Koss headphones, they claim can turn back the signs of Alzheimers Disease. Check out the helmet below.


 


Here is the video of the old man falling on the escalator. I know it's sad... but it's also HILARIOUS!


This is Dave in his sweater...Click on the photo to get the life size picture of Dave and then Photoshop him into an awesome winter scene or anywhere you believe him and that sweater belong.

BEST PICTURE EVA!!!!

CLICK HERE to see what people have sent us!


THIS IS DAVE'S SWEATER WHAT DO YOU THINK?


29-year-old Chinese citizen Yu Zhenhuan was recognized in 2002 as the world's hairiest man...and we just found out he's also a big singing star in China...Here's tape of him singing Elton John's "can you feel the love tonight".

 


Click here to check out Vampire Porn


BEST HOUSE PARTY EVER!

Corey Delaney from Australia is on the run from his parents after he threw "the best party ever" this past weekend. The 16-year-old threw a 500-person house party while his parents were on vacation. Neighbors called the police and when they arrived, all the kids in the house stormed the streets, throwing bottles at police cars. Helicopters and a dog squad were brought in to disperse the crowd. Corey stayed inside. The police now want someone to pay a $20,000 clean-up bill. Here's the Interview this kid did with Australian TV:

 

If you want to buy "BEST PARTY EVA" shirts click here!


DIRTY SECRETS ABOUT HOTEL DRINKING GLASSES

 


Dave and Chuck "the Freak" speak to Ed O'Brien from Radiohead

 


THE BOOBIES SONG

 


 

LISA FINALLY DOES SEXY TRAFFIC - AND HERE IT IS:


Lisa's LSU Party and these are apparently Janet Jackson's panties.


Check out crazy "Reborn" babies and the nut jobs who buy them!


 

 

Think your man is cheating? - well put them to the test!

 


 

A Shot At Love: Get That Bitch!


 


Did this dude have sex with Senator Larry Craig?


The Craziest Beauty Pageant Talent Show Performance Ever! 


Caution - This Swedish Game Show Host throws up LIVE on TV!

 


Is there a Meg White sex tape?

This website says YES!!!


 

You heard it X-Clusively on 89X now see it again and again...P.Y.F.I.M.B!

THIS IS UNCENSORED

 


Is this Britney Spears' only remaining fan?

 

 


This is the best version of Amazing Grace you'll ever hear - it's actually "O"Mazing Grace!

 

Click HERE!

 


Check out this ad for a disturbing doll for sale in the UK called Baby Wee Wee!


The Finnish YMCA Is Much Gayer Than The American One


At first we thought this woman was swedish - then we realized she was latin - ethnic background aside - she is the wackiest celebrity interviewer ever.

Click the link to see Christian Bale facing off with someone far more terrifying than The Joker

Click Here to see it!


Robber Uses Duct Tape As Disguise

A man who allegedly wrapped his head in duct tape as a disguise is accused of trying to rob a West Virginia store.

Click here to see that it is actually real!


Want to find out more information about the body cleanse that Dave and Chuck were talking about?

Check out www.drnatura.com but be warned that the pictures in the gallery are quite graphic and repulsive!

 


GUYS AND DOLLS

Heres the link to the 46-minute documentary exploring the lives of 4 men and their RealDoll partners. There are very strange people out there.
 


YOU PARK LIKE AN A-HOLE!!

Our number-one most infuriating discovery when we're circling the block looking for a space to park is a car rudely positioned in the center of a spot obviously meant for two vehicles. And we think we're not alone in wanting to chuck a brick through its windshield, because "two spots, one car" is the first offense listed on some notices you can print out at the website below.

Print out a bunch of these fliers at youparklikeanasshole and keep them in your car next to a Sharpie

 


If you like "Hey There Delilah" by The Plain White T's - you might like this remake - it's called Hey There Vagina!

 


The Craziest story we've seen in a while...Man in wheelchair pushed four miles by semi.

Click here to see the amazing pictures and read the whole story.

Click Here!


Ancient Chinese Woman Grows Horn From Forehead!

Click on the link for the story and picture:

Click Here!


Check out this crazy video of a little kid getting smoked by a breakdancer in times square - luckily the kid was fine.


Detroit's own Aretha Franklin should not tuck in her shirt.

Check out the size of her belly button which is clearly visible under her mom jeans.

Click here to see the picture


A Dearborn cop called 911 to announce that he thought he was ODing on pot brownies.

In a rambling, five-minute call the cop announced, “We made brownies and I think we’re dead, I really do.” He then asked the dispatcher for the score of the Red Wings game. No joke.

He has since quit the force

Listen to the edited 911 call here:


PARIS HILTON WANTS A PARDON FROM ARNOLD SCHWARZENEGGER:

A COUNTER-PETITION has been filed asking that Paris be forced to carry out her sentence. 

Here is the Link to that one...click here!


HAPPY ST PATRICK'S DAYS!

DO YOU WANT TO HEAR THE MORNING X's "50 Cent-Style" Musical Tribute IN DA PUB?

CLICK HERE TO LISTEN TO IT!


Women have Valentine's Day...but what do Men have?  NOTHING!

That's all about to change as we join in the effort to declare March 14th - STEAK AND BJ DAY.

Be sure to sign the online petition at Here!

Read all about it at Click Here!


Want to see the tape of  Vijay Singh dropping some f bombs at the masters - among other things?

 

a


On tuesday's "Tyra Banks Show", American Idol Finalist Katharine Mcphee PROVES that she's just as Mother Nature intended by first giving the audience a nice wiggle, then letting Tyra reach out and HONK ON her boobs. . . which she does with near-bi-curious glee. (???)

So you don't have to sit through all of Tyra's show, here's THE ONLY 30 SECONDS THAT MATTERS. . .

Click Here!

If the link doesn't work - cut and paste this link into your browser


This is Dave and Chuck the Freak's pick for the WORST Christmas song ever recorded.

It's O Holy Night - it's Horrible - and also Hilarious!

Listen to it here:


Saturday Night Live -  A Special Christmas Box

Here's the song Dave and Chuck "the Freak" think should be a holiday classic.

 


Want to know what your Christmas Elf name would be?

Click here to find out:


You had better watch what you drink during the holidays - or you could end up with an ass the size of Cleveland.

Some popular drinks have more calories than a Big Mac!

Suck down all the details here:


Sick of those sappy Christmas letters you get from folks who do nothing but brag about themselves or their families?

Check out this website by a guy who wants to help people do it right.

Click here!


This song is for all the guys who hate shopping - or their women who shop too much!

Click here to listen to it


BARBRA STREISAND'S INFAMOUS ONSTAGE F-BOMB HAS BEEN REMIXED INTO A SWEET DANCE TRACK:

When fans in New York heckled BARBRA STREISAND because they didn't like her PRESIDENT BUSH skit, she told them, quote, "Shut the [eff] up. Shut up if you can't take a joke!"

Well now Barbra's filthy potty-mouth has been REMIXED INTO A SWEET DANCE TRACK.

Some guy who calls himself RevoLucian used Barbra's F-Bomb to make a track entitled, well, "STFU".

Suck down this guy's song on his MySpace page. CAREFUL THOUGH!!! It is NOT work friendly. . .

 Click Here!


SEE HOW MANY PEOPLE SHARE YOUR NAME!!!

Here's a great website for you to check out. You put in your first and last name, and it tells you how many people in this country share your name. It also tells you how POPULAR your first and last names are. Check it out. . .

Click Here!


Want to see some Indian dude recreate Michael Jackson's Thriller Video?

You can by clicking here.

 


PARIS HILTON ARRESTED

Paris Hilton was arrested on suspicion of DUI in Hollywood. And the members of Fort Minor were so upset by this shocking behavior, that they immediately released a new version of their hit, "Where'd You Go", in response. . .

Listen to it here!


HATE YOUR JOB?...WELL, YOU ARE NOT ALONE.

HERE'S A MUSICAL TRIBUTE FOR EVERYONE WHO CAN'T STAND WHAT THEY DO.

You can hear it by clicking here


NEED YOUR CELL PHONE TO RING TO MAKE YOU LOOK COOL. . . OR GET YOU OUT OF A BAD MEETING???

THIS WEBSITE IS PERFECT: Click Here!


FUNNIEST VIDEO EVER!

Watch this video of a local news station interviewing a woman about what she witnessed at an accident scene...She meant to say they gave him CPR!!!

Watch it here:


"PRICASSO"

Here's a link to the website of the guy who paints - using only his penis.

www.penileart.com


Holy Hip Hop

Want to Check out the rap video "Baby Got Book" from a Cleveland minister who celebrates girls who carry big bible!

Click Here!


 

Do you wanna browse the complete list of the 111 Wussiest Songs Ever Written? Here's where you can get started. . . 

  Click Here!


 

ENJOY SOME PICTURES OF GEORGE MICHAEL CRUISING FOR GAY SEX!!!

See the pictures here!


The Morning X had Gnarls Barkley record a new version of their song, "Crazy", in honor of the plus-size girls who DO. . .

Listen to "GRAVY" By Clicking here


ENJOY THE NEW DAVID HASSELHOFF VIDEO "JUMP IN MY CAR"

See it here!


PRESIDENT BUSH DOES U2

Want to check out the video of President Bush singing U2's "Sunday Bloody Sunday?"

Here's the link: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=6805063692754011230


It's Official - Anna Nicole Smith is Pregnant!

Our hidden microphones have captured a message from Anna Nicole Smith's unborn baby!

Take a Listen!


K-FETUS
Britney and K-Fed's unborn new baby is ALREADY following in his father's talented footsteps.
K-FETUS is releasing his first album, "White Trash is the RIGHT Trash", from the WOMB.

Click here for some tracks from the new album. .


HAS YOUR BUDDY BEEN ACTING A LITTLE STRANGE LATELY?

ARE YOU WONDERING IF HE'S PLAYING FOR THE "OTHER TEAM"?

LISTEN TO THIS TO FIND OUT!


THE BEST JOBS FOR YOUR SIGN

Having trouble finding the right career for you?

Well maybe you should click here and follow the signs.


DO YOU DESERVE A RAISE?

TAKE THIS TEST TO FIND OUT!


FINALLY, A WORTHWHILE USE FOR THE INTERNET!!! A NEW WEBSITE ANALYZES YOUR FACE. . . AND TELLS YOU WHAT CELEBRITIES YOU LOOK LIKE!!!

We've got a SPECTACULAR new website to tell you about today, but we must issue a warning: If you start playing with it, it will absolutely KILL your productivity.

 The website is called My Heritage, and the address is http://www.myheritage.com.

Here's what it does: You upload a photo of your face. . . and, using state-of-the-art facial recognition software. . . it figures out what CELEBRITIES you look like!!!

We HIGHLY recommend doing this. It's hilarious. . .

Click Here!


BORED AT WORK?

LOOKING TO KILL SOME TIME?

CHECK OUT THESE GREAT TIME WASTERS!


WHITNEY'S CRACK DEN

THERE ARE SOME PATHETIC PICTURES OF WHITNEY HOUSTON THIS WEEKEND IN THE TABLOIDS – HER SISTER-IN-LAW  TOOK THEM – SHE ALSO DESCRIBED HOW WHITNEY SPENDS DAYS LOCKED IN HER BEDROOM NEXT TO PILES OF GARBAGE, SMOKING CRACK, USING SEX TOYS (WHEN SHE’S IN THE MOOD) AND COMPLETELY IGNORING HER PERSONAL HYGIENE

 HERE'S A LINK TO THE PICTURES


Want to hear Chuck's Rap song - discussing his shortcomings?

CLICK HERE TO HEAR "AN INCH BIGGER"


Do you want to find love with someone behind bars?

There is a place on-line for you to do just that.

Check out www.meet-an-inmate.com


Breast Size and Woman's Body Shape Reveals Her Character

To read all about it, click here!


 

We've got more CELEBRITY PORN to pass along to you. . . and this time, it's for the ladies.

Somebody tapped into the Sidekick of PETE WENTZ. . . the bass player for FALL OUT BOY. . . and extracted some NAUGHTY NAKED PICTURES that he'd taken of himself. Needless to say, the pictures went STRAIGHT TO THE INTERNET.

It's interesting to note that Pete's being pretty cool about all this. Not that he's happy it happened, but at least he's not going to insult us like so many other celebrities do, by placing the blame elsewhere. In a posting at FallOutBoyRock.com, he says, quote, "The moral of the story: If you really don't want pictures of yourself to end up on the Internet, don't take the pictures. As some of you obviously know, someone hacked into my Sidekick and took pictures off of it. This was very upsetting and a total invasion of privacy. I can't explain to you how it feels. What's even more absurd to me is that anyone would care to see a couple of racy pictures of some (crappy), dirty boy. After feeling badly about this for about 24 hours, I am now ready to get back to laughing."

The Morning X decided to re-write the band's hit song, "Sugar, We're Going Down". . . and called it "Sugar, My Pants Are Down".

Listen to it here:


CHENEY'S GOT A GUN!
When the Vice President shot a fellow millionaire Republican the Comedy Gods were pleased, and they demanded a musical sacrifice.  Well, this is the most obvious one..."

Click Here to Hear "Cheney's Got a Gun!"


Dave and Chuck the Freak got their hands on a transcript of Colin Farrel's homemade sex tape.

It lists every word said on the video between the foul-mouthed Irish stud and Former Playboy Playmate Nicole Narian.

So they decided to recreate it themselves - with Dave as Colin and Chuck as Nicole!!

Listen to it by clicking here.


 

Here's your highly accurate personality test for the day.

The kinds of toppings you like on your PIZZA indicate what type of person you are.

READ ALL ABOUT IT BY CLICKING HERE!!


Want to let someone know exactly what kind of kinky stuff you're into - without having to come right out and say it?

Well now you can with Kodesex Clothing.

Check it out!


WHAT'S THE NEWEST ADDITION TO THE FETISH WORLD?

IT'S THE RUBBER URINAL SUIT!!!

 

Click Here!


KEVIN FEDERLINE HAS BLESSED US WITH MORE MUSIC!!! HIS NEW SONG CAN BE YOURS FOR LESS THAN A DOLLAR!!!

If I told you that a slice of PURE HEAVEN cost less than a dollar, you'd pay up on the spot, wouldn't you??? Then put those chubby fingers of yours on that keyboard and zoom on over to Yahoo's music page, because KEVIN FEDERLINE is selling a new single for a mere NINETY-NINE CENTS!!!

The song is called "PopoZao", and Kevin explains what that means in his deep, insightful lyrics. Here's a sample. . .  

"In Portuguese it means bring your ass / On the floor and move real fast

 

I want to see your KITTY and a little bit of (--a word for "chest ornament" that RHYMES with "kitty") / Wanna know where I go when I'm in your city

 

Girl, don't worry about all the dough" (--BRILLIANT!!!) (??????????)

Support the fine arts by throwing down your credit card number and snagging a LEGIT copy of K-Fed's "PopoZao" at this address. . .

 Click here!

Check out a sample for free here


ARE YOU HAVING AN AFFAIR??? ARE YOU STUPID??? THE ALIBI NETWORK IS HERE:

We don't condone illicit, illegal and unethical behavior. . . but this is the world we live in. . . so, if you're having an affair, taking fake sick days or leading a double life, you might as well know all your options.

There's a service called the Alibi Network. . . http://www.alibinetwork.com. . . that can custom-build you excuses for any occasion: Whether you need to pretend you're at a three-day computer conference to cover up an affair. . . or you just need a doctor's note to trick your boss into thinking you were sick when you were really at another job interview.

According to their website, they can make calls from anywhere in the world, AND from major hotels if you need to pretend you're in a different city or country.

They can also make rescue calls for you. . . like, say, if you need an "emergency" to get out of an awkward blind date. . . and they can even BREAK UP WITH SOMEONE for you.

The service has a $35 annual membership fee, and then individual alibis run from $10 to $55. So far, more than 1,600 people have signed up. . . and bought their express tickets to HELL.


THE 10 THINGS YOUR WOMAN SHOULD NEVER KNOW!!

You can read them all here:


The 10 Traits of a Good Wingman

Read Them Here


 

FINALLY. . . FARMERS HAVE THEIR OWN DATING WEB SITE!!!

Apparently, Match.com just isn't a good spot to get hooked up if you're up early to milk the cows and back in bed at 9 P.M., with no time to troll the Internet for lonely chubbies. Who knew??? I'll tell you who: 52-year-old Jerry Miller of Beachwood, Ohio, has founded FarmersOnly.com. . . an online dating service that ONLY caters to farmers. Since he opened it in May, it's pulled in more than 1,800 members from around the country.

Miller says he got the idea when he was talking to a divorced farmer, who complained that no one on regular dating websites understood her rural lifestyle. Miller's not a farmer. . . he's an advertising agent. . . but he does work with several rural companies.


 

BRITNEY'S HUSBAND RAPS...BADLY!
This is easily worth its weight in MANURE: It's a clip from a song called "Y'all Ain't Ready". . . which has hit the World Wide Web. SUPPOSEDLY. . . and no, I can't vouch for its authenticity. . . this is gonna be the debut single from up-and-coming rapper KEVIN FEDERLINE!!! Is it the song that caused BRITNEY SPEARS to bust out laughing, and thus hurt poor Kevin's feelings??? That, we don't know. But here, without further ado. . . your first preview of K-Fed's ALLEGED first single, "Y'all Ain't Ready". . .

Click here to listen


WANT TO READ THE TOP 10 TIPS FOR AVOIDING SPEEDING TICKETS?

CLICK HERE!


Check out Pictures of The Morning X's Wax-off for Audioslave Contest

 

 

Click here to view the pictures.


Want to see the video of the Crazy screaming woman that Dave and Chuck played on the Morning X?

You can see it here:


Want to Read all about "A MAN'S GUIDE TO TACKLING THE TOUCHIEST SEX TOPICS"?

If so, Click here:


"BALLSIES". . . A.K.A. TESTICLE NECKLACES. . . ARE SELLING SHOCKINGLY WELL:

Need to symbolically tell your girlfriend that she's got 100%, total ownership of you??? It's easy; just give her your TESTES on a NECKLACE.

There's a company in Mesa, Arizona, called BALLSIES. . . and they're selling sterling silver necklace charms that are shaped like a tiny pair of NADS. From everything we can gather, Ballsies are selling incredibly well.

Louise Jay, the co-owner of Ballsies, says the jewelry isn't supposed to be obscene. . . it's EMPOWERING. She and her partner, Dave McCuistion, wanted to create a necklace that symbolized strength, attitude, tenaciousness, boldness, honesty and daring. . . and they came up with cojones.

According to Dave, the product is really only appealing to FEMALE customers. . . quote, "Men don't seem to enjoy them as much."

You can see photos, or buy Ballsies, here. . .


 A WOMAN'S GUIDE TO TACKLING THE TOUCHIEST SEX TOPICS

No matter how much guys brag about their unbelievable skillz in bed, every single one. . . with NO exceptions. . . is INSECURE.

We blame porn. I mean, every guy watches it. . . and we all know we can't match those guys' size. . . stamina. . . creativity. . . and disturbingly alluring hairlessness.

So, ladies, if you CRITICIZE something that your boyfriend or husband is ALREADY insecure about. . . like his stamina or his tiny package. . . there's a decent chance it'll actually KILL HIM.

The good news: The folks at "Cosmo" have talked to the experts. . . and they've come up with a guide to tackling the five touchiest sex topics. So follow these, and maybe you'll get the satisfaction you want. . . without scarring a guy FOR LIFE.

Click here to read the guide!


Our very own Holly - is on the cover of a new magazine - but we think it's a little odd.

Take a look and draw your own conclusions:


The Real Emily Rose!

Click here to hear the real Emily Rose!


SAC FREE UNDERWEAR!!

If your current underwear just isn't cutting it - and you are looking for smoething that will make the twins seem a little less confined...try this - SACFREE UNDERWEAR.

These skivvies with a hole punched out for your danglers - apparently keep your testicles free and cool like boxers but they feel like briefs.

It's a german comany and you can check them out on-line at Click Here!


THE GUIDE TO WIFE TRANSLATIONS

 

You know the drill, guys... It's not what they say, but how they say it.

When you ask if anything is wrong and your woman says, "Nothing," you know there's something wrong.

When you ask how they are and they say, "Fine," you know they're not.

Okay, here's some help ...

Click here to read the translations


12 DON'T-TELL-THE-WIFE SECRETS ALL MEN KEEP 

 

No, honey, I play golf for the exercise," and "No, honey, I wasn't looking at that coed washing the car in the rain," is right up there with "the check is in the mail".

 Everybody has a few secrets they keep under wraps.

After all, if no one knows about it, does that mean it isn't true?

Keep telling yourself that.

Read the 12 Secrets here:


Do you wish your girlfriend was a little crazier in the sack?

We can help - with the "EIGHT WAYS TO HELP YOUR WOMAN LOSE HER INHIBITIONS IN BED"

Click here to read them all!


THE DEFINITIVE GUIDE TO COUGAR HUNTING

You might not know this. . . but right now, COUGAR HUNTING is, straight up, THE hottest thing for guys in their 20s to do. . . If you don't know what cougar hunting is. . . it's time to get on board.

Cougar hunting, or cougaring, is the fine art of young men attracting women who are at least 10 years older than they are. . . and who LOVE to spend their time with younger men.

Click here to read the guide:


 

GAY COUNTRY MUSIC IS GAINING POPULARITY

There's even a website set up at www.lgcma.com.

Listen to one gay country hit - Pop you in the Pooper.


Want to check out the video of the worst half-time show of all time?

It happened during a soccer game in England.

Click Here!


NOW, YOU CAN TRACK YOUR WIFE'S SECRET ADULTEROUS LIFE. . . WITH GPS PANTIES!!!

Want to keep tabs on your cheating wife??? Or make sure your sweet, virginal daughter is not giving away her special flower that she can only ever give to one man??? Now, finally, there's a way.

Panchira Corp., a company based in Tokyo, Japan, is selling FORGET-ME-NOT PANTIES. . . which are pairs of stylish, sexy, GPS-ENABLED women's underwear!!!

When a woman wears these, the GPS tracker inside transmits her location to your cell phone, PDA or computer. . . in real time.

Not only that. . . the advanced model also tells you her BODY TEMPERATURE and HEART RATE. . . so you can tell for sure if her haunches are truly on fire.

Now. . . this kind of paranoia isn't cheap. A pair of the GPS-enabled ones cost $99, or seven for $650. If you want GPS and heart rate sensors, the

price jumps up to $180 for a pair or $1190 for seven. BUT. . . even at those prices. . . people are still CRAVING these things. . . as they're currently SOLD OUT.

Panchira promises that they'll have new stock within the next 30 days.

The company's website is here. . . Click Here!


 

WANNA SEE SADDAM ONLY WEARING TIGHTY-WHITEYS???

Well. . . I guess we can scratch "overcompensating for his manitalia" off the

list for reasons why SADDAM is such a bastard.

On the cover of today's issue of the not-so-reliable-but-always-morals-free

Limey tabloid "The Sun", there's an undated photo of Saddam. . . wearing only

a pair TIGHTY-WHITEYS.

Check it out here:


SURFING THE WEB AT WORK WITHOUT GETTING SPOTTED HAS NEVER BEEN EASIER. 

Odds are, during your years as a wage slave, you've spent PLENTY of company time surfing the web, playing solitaire, IMing, checking your personal e-mail, watching the Hamster Dance, downloading music, playing online poker, or looking on Monster.com for new jobs.

And, odds are, at least once. . . you've been caught by your boss.

So here's some good news: There's a new invention that makes it easier and smoother than ever to hide whatever non-work thing you're doing on your screen.

It's called the StealthSwitch, and it's a FOOT PEDAL that you attach to your computer. You go about your personal business until you see someone approaching. Then, you just tap the pedal. . . and what you're doing instantly DISAPPEARS from your monitor. . . and is replaced by a spreadsheet or Lotus Notes or whatever.

 You can learn more, or purchase,  here...


Have you got a co-worker who stinks like ass? ...A friend who really needs to take a bath? ...An acquaintance you wish would learn about standard hygiene practices? ...but you don't know how to bring it up? Then YouHaveBO.com is for you.

They will send that stinky person in your life an anonymous and fun notification that he or she needs to change socks, put on some deodorant or take a shower

 Visit their site!


Are you sick of all the ugly people you've met online?

A new online forum has been launched to introduce beautiful people to other beautiful people

Check it out!


A woman in Watauga, Texas called 911 to report a fight between her 12 and 14-year-old daughters. When the woman told the 911 operator that the 12-year-old had kicked a hole in a door, he asked her, "Do you want us to come over there and shoot her?" He said it was a joke. The woman did not find it very funny.

Listen to the call


BELIEVE IT OR NOT...A woman at a Burger King drive through in California called 911 after Burger King repeatedly made her the wrong burger!

Listen to the 911 call here!


 
 

 
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